"RECESS!"
A half day in school has past
Student came crashing down to the canteen,
Gobbling down their food like a hungry ghost.
Smiles and laughter
Each and everyone has a story to share
Taking their turns
A half day in school has past
Stirring kopi,
Enjoying the taste.
Birds chirping,
Singing.
Even they have a story to share.
*******
Just like Annie, this feels so weird!
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2 comments:
I purposely created the poem such that Stanza 1 and 3 rhymes and Stanza 2 and 4 rhymes with each other.
From Stanza 1, it basically describe students rushing down to buy food, especially the sec 1. Hehe. Students gobbled down their food because of 2 reasons. Firstly, because they are truly hungry by the time its recess. Secondly, because the lack of time.
In Stanza 2, it describe the surrounding. That the canteen is noisy. You'll actually realise that during recess time, girls especially, love to talk. I think its true that sometimes you do take turns to share you story with friends. Don't you?
In stanza 3, there's a repition from stanza 1. "A half day in school has past" Well, I just wanted to create a pattern in my poem. I uses "kopi" instead of coffee. I say its the typical singaporean way. Nobody says "Auntie, one coffee!" especially in school canteen.
Lastly the last stanza. It also uses repetition, "a story to share" Once again, its just to emphasise the noisy surrounding.
DONE!
Congratulations on finishing your comments! Erm... Do take note of the grammatical errors and spelling mistake. =) Maybe you typed too fast or wanted to finish before the bell rings... *Read my comments on Geraldine's poem 'Canteen Observation'. =)
I like your choice and use of language like 'kopi' to represent an authentic scene with local flavour.
Even the term 'hungry ghost' is an Asian concept. =) Excellent!
Singaporeans too love their food and a story to share as they enjoy their gastronomic delights! =) I like the way you include the birds in the conversation though it is one uniquely theirs.
Cheers!
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