From far above they look like red ants,
Running and crowding to get their meal.
Getting to the place as soon as they can,
Squeezing themselves in the blazing land.
Tables groaning,
Chairs squeaking.
Munching and giggling,
Cutlery clanking.
Strolling and blocking other's way.
Dragging feet with tired faces.
Crowded at a corner,
Punching messages on the overworked phone.
The atmosphere seems so wild
Smell of meat being fried
Once everyone left,
The place is in empty silence.
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6 comments:
In first stanza,in uses simile to emphasise the school's uniform. It describes that the situation is packed with students getting their meal.
To be continued
Era, I like your choice of words. There is a good use of onomatopeia. Your poem is very rich in sounds, yet ends dramatically in silence. =) Wow!
I have never quite likened Zhenghua pupils to red ants but come to think of it, perhaps they do bear some resemblance! =) It is a unique comparison. Note: Red ants can hurt when they bite.
I agree with Mrs Tan and I also feel that Era uses metaphors, for e.g "tables groaning" gives me a clear imagery of the situation and atmosphere.
The poem is talking about the atmosphere, the feelings of students, the "actions" of the tables, chairs. "Tables groaning/chairs squeaking."
It is also talking about how different it is when it's recss time, and when recess time is over.
In the first stnza, every last word in the sentence rhyme; "groaning", "squeaking", "giggling" and "clanking".
The poet uses her five senses to describes her surroundings. She also uses metaphor and similies to describe it such as "The atmosphere seems so wild" and using "red ants" to describe ZSS students. This poem - in chronological order- describing during recess time.
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