The mask hides identities,
As on the stage.
He’s glaring out under the façade of a pure white…
Eyes volatile and deceiving.
She enters through the center left,
Eyes puffy and red.
Her mouth is open; no words come forth.
She seems to be fighting an inner battle.
He sees her tears but there’s no emotion,
Just like a glass doll he thought.
Smile, smile he wanted to say,
If only to see the plastic one she showed him.
He knew she wasn’t real,
And she knows it too.
She took one last look at him,
One that said she had more to say.
He turned away from her.
She left the stage, defeated.
Shivers. And falls to the ground.
He’s dying.
Pale blue, a heavy mist.
He’s cold.
But his eyes are still open.
Stood up. Stumbles.
Walks off the stage.
She enters. Looks around for him.
But he’s gone. And she speaks.
Sings, of her and him.
And the dream.
She doesn’t know how to end.
Stops.
Her voice caught, and she fell.
He stands behind the curtain, watching her.
She’s a doll, but she’s also his obsession.
He walks over to her body and picked it up.
His obsession. No matter what…he can’t let go of her.
Couldn’t let go.
End. Scene one. Except that there’s no play.
_____
Another one from me =) Come on peeps, post your stuff! This poem is from quite awhile ago. Anyway, I hope it was good. Smiles!
4 comments:
Hello.Your poem describes more about inner feelings.Kind of reminds me of Romeo & Juliet:PP
Under both perspectives, both parties seemed to hide something between each other and it's proven til the last part of the poem," She’s a doll, but she’s also his obsession" til one of them were gone,"He walks over to her body & pick it up".
& tadaaa so,that's my point of view :) how bout the others?
There's so much potential in this poem for you guys to use the learnt literary devices to critique it. =) *hint hint* Does anyone wish to comment on its structure and run-on lines?
So dark and somewhat creepy... =P Sends a chill down your spine... Brrr...
The poem shows about a guy who is secretly obsessed with a 'girl' or otherwise known as the 'glass doll'. The structure of the poem is chronological: from the part they meet and depart. I feel that the guy is desperate to meet and talk to the girl but couldn't do so. Due to some kind of barrier? Well, thats what I personally feel about this poem. Way to go, Da! :)
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